


I've Always Loved You Anyways

by haosmullet



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Domestic, Dorm talk, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Some angst, Taeyong is Lucas mom, Taeyong is basically everyones mom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-08-23 04:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16611773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haosmullet/pseuds/haosmullet
Summary: Jungwoo and Lucas don't seem to get along so well. But do they really, in fact, hate each other?





	1. Chapter I | Intro

To hate. According to the english language dictionary, the definition of such verb is given as a ‘strong dislike’. According to the NCT members, an exemplification for the fearful word was Lucas’ relationship with Jungwoo. Indeed, Lucas would often admit it; he does feel some sort of dislike for this specific hyung. Nothing actually happened that lead Lucas to that feeling; the fact was that, Lucas was constantly bothered by how excessively cute or kind the boy would act, Jungwoo must act like that on purpose, and Lucas would often define that as fake. No one likes fake friends, and Lucas would not be the one to prove it wrong. The other U members, firstly, got extremely worried about this situation. I mean, they couldn't express the image that they didn’t get along, that they hated each other. And above all, they would have to live together for promotions, so that kind of feeling could not be welcomed. However, after long hours of conversations, and some time living together, Lucas, Jungwoo and the members learned on how to avoid complicated situations, topics and events. Jungwoo got close to other members and the older would avoid being too close to Lucas whenever possible. And, like that, Lucas did the same. Things would follow their flow for some time, but just like a time-bomb, the situation would most definitely burst out eventually. They just didn’t know when. 

It was night on that day. The boys were leaving the last schedule, a radio live recording to promote the new album, and exhaustion filled the air. But Lucas were moving from one side to the other of the studio, as they were leaving; and the same would happen inside the van, when they prepared to return to the dorm. 

‘Did something happen, yukhei?’ Taeyong asked, assuming his own mother-like aura. 

‘Yes. I lost my colar, the one my mom gave to me before I traveled to Korea. I swear I was using it before the recording, I came here with it’ Lucas said, in a rather desperate tone. 

‘Didn’t you leave it at the dorm? Are you sure of it?’ Taeyong replied while starting to look around him on the van. 

‘Yeah, I.. I never take it off, I was with it for sure. I.. came here, and slept through the way to the radio.. I-I.. maybe it is at the floor..’ Lucas continued searching. 

‘Yukhei, calm down. If you really came with it, it must be here, it cannot walk by itself, right? And it was not at the studio?’ Taeyong asked. 

‘No, I searched everywhere there. Its was not, hyung.’ Lucas stated, tears starting to form behind his eyes. 

‘We’ll look for it when we get home, don’t stress too much right now, ok? We’re tired, and it will only make you feel worse.’ Taeyong advised the younger member, feeling kinda sorry for what was happening to him. 

‘We’ll find it, yukhei, ok? Don’t worry’ Mark said to Lucas, trying his best to console his friend. 

 

Arriving at the dorm not longer than 40 min later, Lucas flashed inside, running to his own bedroom shared with Mark, looking for the lost item. The other members, being all pretty drained out from the packed schedule, were slowly entering and trying to help in the best way they physically could. 

‘Is it the colar, xuxi?’ Winwin appeared rather sleepy, with a bright golden delicate colar in hands. 

‘YES! YES IT IS, WHERE WAS IT? OH THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I- I THOUGH I’VE LOST IT FOR GOOD’ Lucas screamed in joy, tears once again filling his tired eyes. 

‘It was at Jungwoo’s desk table, at our bedroom.’ Winwin quietly stated, leaving Lucas room towards his own. 

‘W-whAT?’ Lucas screamed. Anger starting to replace the joyful feeling from just one second ago. 

‘JUNGWOO! WH- WHY DID YOU TAKE MY COLAR? ARE YOU CRAZY?’ Lucas appeared accusing the boy that was unpacking his own bed at his bed. 

‘Lucas, I didn’t take your colar, what are you talking about?’ Jungwoo said, trying to remain as calm as possible. 

‘WELL HAHA, funny that it was at your desk then. Why did you take it? Were you trying to prank me?’ Lucas replied. 

‘Why would I do that? Do you think I have nothing else to do with my life than messing with you? Does my world revolve around you by any chance?’ Jungwoo replied, starting to loose the calm and relaxing state in which he was inserted. Exhaustion speaking louder than rational thoughts. 

‘Maybe yes, do you think perhaps my colar just casually walked onto your desk, just to take a walk?’ Lucas asked the older. 

‘Lucas, we’re all tired right now, I did not take your colar to prank you, and you found it, now go to your room and leave me alone.’ Jungwoo said, getting closer to the younger. 

‘Are you going to leave me alone then? Or are you going to keep hiding my stuff from me? Why did you even got into my room?’ Lucas said, fronting the older one. 

‘Hey hey, guys, let’s chill. Xuxi, we found your colar, it’s all good now, ok?’ Winwin tried to put an end to the fast escalating situation, getting between both bodies in his bedroom.

‘Yukhei, c’mon, it must have been a misunderstanding, let’s just rest for today’ Taeyong interfered, running to the bedroom as soon as he started listening to a greater discussion.

‘I want to know why, I want to know why would he want to hurt me like that? Are you not happy enough? Everyone loves you, do you need me to love you also? Is that why you are trying to pick on me? Or you’re just trying to be funny to others?’ Lucas said, throwing accusation on Jungwoo. 

‘Yukhei stop!’ Taeyong said, trying to push the younger by his arm, finding resistance on him. 

‘I DID NOT TAKE YOUR COLAR, YOU IDIOT. I ALREADY SAID THAT. I WOULDN’T TAKE IT, WHAT WOULD I GET FROM IT? YOUR CRYING FACE? I DON’T NEED TO DO THAT AND I DEFINITELY DON’T NEED YOU TO LIKE ME, if that’s what you think, boy’ Jungwoo said, being pushed back by Winwin, also trying to avoid the worst. 

‘That’s enough, Yukhei get out of the room’ Taeyong demanded. 

Lucas left the room giving a strongly hurt look to Jungwoo that stayed still, with an angry and annoyed face, waiting for the younger to leave his room to finally get the peace he deserved. Taeyong took Lucas to his bedroom and tried to have a conversation with the boy, saying that he shouldn’t treat Jungwoo like that, and that it would have been a misunderstanding, that he shouldn’t hate on the older as they would be living together and that kind of situation were definitely unacceptable. Lucas didn’t listen to one word, he was, most of all devastated. Why would Jungwoo do that to him? Yes, they had differences and didn’t really get along but, why would Jungwoo do something that would hurt him to that extend. That colar was precious to him, he treasured it with all his heart and every one of them were conscious of it. But, why did he care at all? He didn’t even like Jungwoo, he should expect that somehow, he should expect such hurtful words from him. But why did it hurt so much to listen to it. He felt happy for finding the item but he could not let go of the pain he was feeling for taking his and Jungwoo’s relationship to that level. 

 

It got even worse on the other day, after all of them got a good sleep and Doyoung, who were the last one to arrive home on the previous night, went to talk to Lucas, apologizing and saying that he found the colar as he was washing some clothes but thought it was Jungwoo’s, as he had a very similar one.  
‘And now?’ thought Lucas. ‘I would be a dick if I let it go but how would I even apologize to Jungwoo? He will say that I’m stupid and that I should have asked first than to accuse him on something he told me he didn’t do. But if Doyoung told me that then Taeyong definitely also knows it, and he will force me to apologize. I have no way out of this, WHY GOD’ 

And, in fact, that is what happened. Taeyong made Lucas promise to apologize as soon as he saw the younger boy out of bed. Taeyong had to try and fix things up as well as he could, he was the leader after all. 

Jungwoo was at his room, playing some video game. They finally got the day off after weeks and weeks and weeks of constant promotions. He had just passed a level when Lucas entered his room. Jungwoo fixed himself on his bed with the most annoyed expression on his face. After the fight from last night, he became even more irritated by Lucas’ presence, and he didn’t want to discuss everything on their relationship right now, on the only day-off. 

‘Hyung, I- Taeyong asked me to come and talk to you for a bit’ Lucas started. 

‘Lucas, if you are here to talk about that colar again, I don’t want to know further’ Jungwoo replied as fast as Lucas ended his statement. 

‘Actually, I came to apologize to you’ Lucas said, and like that, Jungwoo responded with unbelief on his face. 

‘Doyoung-hyung came to talk to me and said he had placed my colar on your desk as a mistake, because you own a similar colar. I- I’m sorry for accusing you.. It-I mean, I was angry because I really treasure this colar, my mom gave it to me as a gift when I left home and nothing would replace it.. I thought I’ve lost it and then, I couldn’t think straight, I’m really sorry for offending you’ Lucas said it all fastly, without facing the older member. 

Jungwoo took a deep breath first, and responded ‘It’s fine. Just don’t.. Don’t accuse me on something I didn’t do. I know we don’t really get along with each other but I would never do something like that to you. I don’t want to hurt you, Lucas.’ 

‘Thank you, hyung’ Lucas replied, feeling like some sort of weight have been removed from his heart. He didn’t want to be like that to Jungwoo. They could not get along or hate each other but not on an insulting way. Indeed, Lucas thought that after that small but meaningful conversation, Jungwoo would show himself in a more friendly way to him, and maybe, just maybe, they could actually be good bandmates. 

But he was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! What did you think of this chapter?  
> Feel free to comment, give suggestions or anything!


	2. Chapter II

But he was wrong. 

As if nothing had ever happened, Lucas and Jungwoo’s relationship remained untouched. Jungwoo wouldn’t talk or say anything out of necessary to Lucas. That was the usual, in the end. But Lucas was not the usual anymore. He couldn’t understand why Jungwoo would act like that with him if he even apologized. He was very nice and loving with other members but he would act as if Lucas was not there. Lucas started to question if he had done something in the past that hurt him in some kind of way, but couldn’t really recall, and in fact, he started to question himself why he was caring so much about that, they weren’t friends or anything from the start; he shouldn’t care, he shouldn’t feel anything from it, he thought, trying to convince himself in the end. Maybe the fight had traumatized him in a way that made him think about losing the older one forever. He definitely didn’t want that, they were bandmates, they worked together and in the end, he admitted, it felt really bad to live in that way. 

 

‘Do you think Jungwoo really hate me now?’ Lucas questioned Taeyong, shyly, after the leader made him late breakfast. 

‘I thought you guys already disliked each other ever since the beginning’ Taeyong replied, focusing on washing the dishes.

‘Yes, I think so. But you know, there’s a difference between disliking and hating,hyung’ Lucas answered, eyes low on his toasts. 

‘I know. Well.. I don’t think he does reaaaaally hate you like that. But, I thought you didn’t care at all’ Taeyong said, with some kind of hope in his voice. 

‘I don’t. I just.. don’t want a bandmate to completely hate me, I mean.. We still got to work together after all’ Lucas said, finishing his food and getting closer to Taeyong in the sink, cleaning his plate. 

‘Wow.. It seems like something I’ve told you for months!’ Taeyong said, laughing at the younger one. 

‘Yeah yeah, fine. You’re right, are you happy?’ Lucas replied, laughing along with his mother-like-leader. 

‘You know, Yukhei.. If you don’t want Jungwoo to hate you, maybe you should try being nicer to him. Like, saying hi? Don't’ appearing as if you want to die when he enters the room?’ Taeyong argued. 

‘I’m not like that, c’mon!’ Lucas answered, getting a little flustered by the sudden accusation.

‘If you say so, my friend’ said the older boy, drying his hands and moving to the living room, leaving behind a confused and over-thinking Lucas. 

 

It wasn’t that hard, right? Being nice? But how could he be nice to someone he was awkward with since day 1? It would seems very sudden. And it was very sudden. Even Lucas couldn’t understand what was happening right now. ‘You can do it, Yukhei, c’mon. For the sake of NCT. The other guys don’t need to handle that kind of situations anymore, it’s not fair’, Lucas thought as he entered the dancing room where the members were waiting for the practice to start. 

Lucas greeted everyone as usual; hugs and handshakes, jokes and good mornings. And Jungwoo was the one left, at the very end of the huge practice room.

‘Hey, Jungwoo’ Lucas said, quietly, feeling the unusual taste of the phrase on his tongue. 

No replies. Like usual. Just a surprised look on Jungwoo’s face that Lucas could see through his peripheral sight as the practice started. 

 

By lunchtime everyone was already getting tired and food was highly required for getting full energy once again. The boys decided to get something for their stomachs at the cafeteria in the company. They needed to finally use their points somewhere. 

After getting what they wanted to eat, the member found a big table and settled down one by one, starting to eat as fast as they could, since their hunger was nearly insatiable usually, as Taeyong would commonly joke. Jungwoo, however, forgot to take a fork and a knife for him, sighing in frustration. Noticing that, Lucas decided to risk once again the ‘try being nice’ technique. 

‘Here, take mine. I can get another one’ said Lucas, handing Jungwoo his own cutlery. 

‘Hum.. That’s fine, I’ll take one for myself’ Jungwoo replied, quickly getting up to get him what he needed; while Lucas, kinda shocked by the blunt rejection, got back to his own food, ignoring everyone’s surprised reaction to the sudden interaction. It was hard being nice after all. 

 

After eating, returning and ending practice, it was already evening. Feeling their bodies worn out from exhaustion, the members were getting ready to go back to the dorm and finally call it a day. Lucas thought that maybe it was a good thing to give one last shot on ‘being nice’. He got up and moved to the table close to the sound equipaments, where they left water bottles they would constantly drink after intense sessions. Moving with other members to the same direction, Lucas got two bottles and got back to where Jungwoo was, close to Lucas’ own training bag. The boy handled one of the bottles on his hand to the older member. 

‘Here. Take one.’ said Lucas, avoiding eye-contact with Jungwoo. 

Jungwoo looked straight to the chinese boy facing away from him and took the bottle from his hand. Lucas gave him an awkward fast smile and started to move to finish gathering up his stuff on the gym bag he used. 

‘Lucas.. What are you trying to do?’ Jungwoo said, looking serious in the eyes of the younger boy. 

‘Um.. I’m just trying to be nice’ replies Lucas, showing the older member another one of those awkward smiles. 

‘You’ve never talked to me properly, or greeted me, or tried making favors for me, and now you are trying to be nice out of a sudden?’ Jungwoo said, getting up and closer to the younger boy. 

‘Y-yeah.. I guess so?’ answered Lucas focusing his gaze on his bag, avoiding direct confrontation with Jungwoo’s questioning eyes. 

‘Did Taeyong told you to do that? Or are you trying to prank me?’ asked Jungwoo, trying to get sense out of that situation. 

‘No. I’m really just trying to be nice. We’re.. Co-workers, I guess the other members don’t need to put up with whatever happens between us like they did that other day.’ said Lucas, finally looking at Jungwoo’s face with some sort of sadness in his eyes. 

Jungwoo stood still for seconds that felt like years to Lucas’ mind. The older member replaced his confused and questioning expression to a more challenging one, not really believing that was really going to happen after all their discussions. 

‘Yeah.’ said Jungwoo while turning away and getting his own bag from the floor. ‘Thanks’, he complemented, signaling that he was referring to the bottle Lucas has handled him, and started to make his way out of the room. 

Lucas took a deep breath, confusion in his mind, his face, his eyes. Maybe being nice was much harder than he first thought it would be, or being nice was not enough after a great amount of ignoring and discussing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Share your thoughts!   
> And also, feel free to comment and leave suggestions for wht you want to see next! ;)


	3. Chapter III

‘Are you and Yukhei talking now?’ Doyoung asked Jungwoo, with an ironic tone. 

‘I don’t know? He just randomly talked to me today. Maybe Taeyong’s convinced him on doing this or he’s just trying to prove something’ replied the younger boy.  
‘What point would he want to prove?’ Doyoung said. 

‘That he could talk to me if he wanted to?’ answered Jungwoo. ‘It’s too out of a sudden all of this. I mean, he never talked to me ever and now he’s like a super caring boy?’ 

‘It may be out of nowhere but maybe he’s tired of this stupid fight you two are always into’ said the older one, as he finished storing all the item they had bought at the convenience store. 

‘I wasn’t the one to start all of this’ affirmed Jungwoo, taking some cookies from the recent organized cabinet. 

‘You didn’t even try to reverse it, so I consider you an accomplice’ said Doyoung, while leaving the room laughing at his own lame joke. If that was a joke at all. 

 

Remembering that time instead of focusing on the video-game phase he and Winwin were trying to end for three days now, Jungwoo realized what Doyoung was talking about. He didn’t really know how that confusing thing with Lucas started. Lucas never really got to talk to him, or know him deeply; he didn’t do anything to provoke such feelings from the younger one, in fact, they barely even looked at each other. Sometimes Lucas would make ironic or sarcastic comments on him or something he was doing, and that would’ve started to bother him in a way that Jungwoo instantly started to treat him in the same way. He never thought about treating him as kindly as he treated the other dear members, or even to try and understand what was happening back then. Jungwoo from the past has just accepted that was their relation, and that was the end of it.  
Jungwoo noticed Winwin waving in front of him. They had lost that phase once again, and the younger boy wanted to restart, but Jungwoo seemed to be at his own world. Getting up from the floor, leaving behind a confused Winwin and his console controller, Jungwoo fastly walked to Lucas’ bedroom door. 

‘Come in!’ Junwoo listened to his target’s voice between shooting sounds. Opening the door, Jungwoo saw Lucas o his bed, with a very much concentrated look on his face, playing exactly the same game and phase he and Winwin were just a second ago. Lucas looked briefly to the door, searching for the one who disturbed his peace and inner war with that stupid video game, and by finding Jungwoo as the answer, surprise replaced that certain concentrated face. 

‘Oh.. Hey, what’s up?’ said Lucas, pausing the game as fast as he could. 

‘Are we really doing this?’ asked Jungwoo, with a deadly serious face. 

‘Doing.. What, exactly?’ replied Lucas, nervously. 

‘Being cool with each other.. I don’t know, I don’t understand what you want now’ said Jungwoo, looking straight to the younger boy’s face. 

‘What I want..? I don’t know.. I just- I thought that we could stop fighting over.. I don’t know what, always. I told you, we’re bandmates, I guess we should be at least nice with each other.. I mean.. We don’t need to be best friends or anything but’ responded Lucas, keeping that nervousness from the beginning. 

‘And you’re not going to point out everything I do anymore? With that despising look?’ asked Jungwoo, once more. 

‘I-’ Lucas took a deep breath, ‘No, I won’t bother you anymore’ said Lucas, aiming for that ‘being nice’ mantra. 

‘Alright’ said Jungwoo, a small smile appearing on his face. ‘We’re fine then’ 

As he was turning away from the boy, Jungwoo thought again about what Doyoung has said. ‘Let me not be an accomplice anymore then, Doyoung’ thought Jungwoo, turning back and facing a mixture of surprise and happiness all over Lucas’ face, accompanied by some soft pink shade on his cheekbones. 

‘You know what? Winwin and I are trying to end this same phase for three days and we can’t even get to the final boss. Do you want to win that with us? I mean, three heads may think bigger than two’ offered Jungwoo, surprised himself with his willingness on that matter. 

If he could have avoided such strange feelings from Lucas before, but was acceptant enough to let it grow until now; maybe he could act a little on it and change their relationship in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with updates!  
> What did you think? How are you liking the story so far? 
> 
> As always, feel free to comment, give suggestions or share anything! 
> 
> Note: I've recently created a twitter account and I'll be taking requests there! So, if you have some request, please, leave it at my dm! Or if you just want to talk, just send me a message and let's chat! ;)  
> The list of groups I'll be taking requests and writing will be available at my bio here! And my twitter account is @mhaosmullet  
> See ya!


	4. Chapter IV

It was all awkward for Lucas, it felt just like he added someone new to his life, someone that fastly turned into an irreplaceable person. Gradually, and with patience, Lucas and Jungwoo’s relationship turned from the normal no talking-no confronting-no facing- no physical contact to a close relationship. Movie nights, convenience store dinners, casual clothes shopping, ice-cream at the park. Everything took such an extreme turn that even the members stayed shocked, thinking it would end eventually, not really trusting in Lucas’ feelings and words. 

 

‘I heard you’ll be joining 127, dude, is that true?’ asked Lucas to Jungwoo as they walked calmly back home, in the cool late autumn breeze and the orange streets from the sunset. 

‘Yes! I’m very excited but I’m nervous.. I don’t know. And if I’m not good enough.. They are powerful’ 

‘What? Are you kidding me? You’re awesome, Jungwoo. You’ll fit perfectly. You’re voice is amazing, you’re really powerful, I can’t find words to describe your talent, man’ 

‘Do you really think all of that?’ replied Jungwoo with a shy laugh, ‘I’ll try my best. And Doyoung-hyung will help me, so I- I’ll try to be cool’ 

‘You’re already cool and sexy and cute’ Lucas let the compliments slip out of his mouth without thinking twice, regret instantly filling his mind and changing his expression to a awkward one. Jungwoo heard all of that with red tinted cheeks, laughing at the young boy struggle. ‘I mean, I think and I’ve read fans saying that so, yeah.. I’ll cheer for you, dude’ 

‘Thank you, Yukhei’ 

 

And so that happened, indeed. Jungwoo joined 127, and Lucas thought that he came out stunning on every single picture or video made. Doyoung was really a great help for Jungwoo’s process of joining, and for Jungwoo’s everyday life at the dorm, and for his day-offs, and for his every free time. The boy and Jungwoo got so close they seemed like one single person. 

 

‘Jungwoo, today is friday!’ Lucas started, entering the other boy’s bedroom with two dvd boxes on his hand. 

‘And so?’ 

‘And so..? Fridays mean movie night..? What were you thinking?’ 

‘Oh! Yeah.. I forgot. Doyoung invited me to go to a new coffee shop nearby, so, can we watch it tomorrow, or next friday?’ asked Jungwoo, with an apologetic expression. 

‘Yes.. sure, hyung. Have fun’ replied Jungwoo, trying to fake the disappointment in his voice. 

 

‘Yukhei, can I talk to you?’ asked Jungwoo entering the boy’s room, finding a busy Lucas getting ready to get out with him. 

‘Hey hyung! Yes.. of course. I’m almost read-’ 

‘Can Doyoung come with us? He told me he would like to try this store’s milkshake and we’re going there so, I thought about asking you’ 

Lucas took a deep breath. Of course Doyoung wanted to go. And Doyoung wanted to take Jungwoo everywhere. To the ice cream shop, to the park they usually walked, to the shops they usually went. He really wanted to know it all, didn’t he? 

‘Of course.. If that’s what you want too’ declared Lucas, with an annoyed tone. 

 

Doyoung took so much of Jungwoo’s life that there was almost no space left for Lucas. He thought about the time and will he put into building this relationship, the desire to stop fighting with someone he actually didn’t hate. It was never hate, it was admiration in some kind of way. He wanted to be that open about his feelings, that cute and caring, and he felt comfortable around Jungwoo at the end. He felt like Jungwoo was a part of him, and the new presence of Doyoung was making it harder to have a good day with Jungwoo. 

Lucas started to close himself again, in his own little shell. He wouldn’t run after someone who didn’t seem to care about the time they spend together anymore. Maybe they never really had to talk with each other. Lucas definitely didn’t want to bring someone to his life, to his heart just for that someone to abruptly leave him out in the rain. If Jungwoo wanted that, to shut Lucas out, then Lucas would that the pain and start over again, by himself. 

 

‘Yukhei, Doyoung and I are going to that video game store we love, do you want to come along?’ offered Jungwoo, Doyoung close behind him. 

‘No’ replied Lucas, facing the television in front of him, not exchanging looks with the oldest one. 

‘Didn’t you want to go there the other day? Are you sure you don’t want to come?’ 

Silence. Lucas gave Jungwoo no response. He kept the words for himself, in order to don’t let out the frustration he was feeling inside. He felt excluded from Jungwoo’s life so why did he care about him now? ‘In the end, maybe, Jungwoo really just needed me to like him as everybody also do; when he got it, he left me, huh?’ Lucas thought with himself, fighting back the tears that started to form in the back of his eyes. 

 

‘Yukhei!’ Jungwoo called the boy, knocking on his bedroom door. No answer. It started again. 

 

Lucas started ignoring Jungwoo’s presence, his calls, his attempts. He wasn’t trying to hurt the boy, he was trying to deal with his own hurted feelings. He knew that whatever it was, it would have something to do with Doyoung. Always Doyoung. And he didn’t want to hear about how Doyoung was really cool on stage, and how Doyoung had such a good fashion sense, and how Doyoung sang perfect notes. He didn’t need Jungwoo to rub on his face that Doyoung was a better company for him. He had lost the battle and his heart was weak, so facing the cause of the problem would not help him to pick up his pieces. 

 

‘Are you ignoring Jungwoo again, Yukhei?’ asked Taeyoung at the table as Lucas took, once again, late breakfast. Jungwoo must have told him about the fact if the leader was questioning him. But why did he care, really.. He was not Doyoung. 

‘It’s not me.. I’m just.. Not feeling well these days. I’d like to be alone for some time’ 

‘What happened, Hei?’ asked a very worried mom-Taeyoung. 

‘Nothing. I’ve just been thinking about situations and.. Whatever. I’ll be ok, hyung.. Don’t worry’ replied Lucas, getting up from the table a leaving his plate at the sink; leaving the kitchen and the conversation as fast as he possibly could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with some updates!   
> What did you think about the chapter? Are you enjoying the story? Tell me! :)   
> Please comment, give suggestions or share anything you want! 
> 
> If you wish to request me something or just chat about kpop, hit my dm on twitter @mhaosmullet! 
> 
> See ya!


	5. Chapter V

He would be okay eventually, for sure. He just had to ignore all of that confusion of feelings that bursted through him every time he saw Junwoo training with Doyoung, eating, drinking coffee, watching movies at the dorm, or doing whatever he would do with Doyoung. He didn’t really understand why Jungwoo had talked about it with Taeyong if he, himself, showed Lucas that his presence was no longer requested. 

He didn’t fully understand what was going on inside of him on that moment, but he assumed that he just felt wronged. He could’ve left their relationship as bad as it was previously but he tried, he really did, and he found out things that he didn’t know about his own self. And that was amazing. Jungwoo and him together were amazing. But all of that couldn’t be anymore because Doyoung seemed more important then. 

 

It was late at night, friday. Lucas had decided to eat something, some cereal or anything to help him as he couldn’t sleep. His mind trying to organize his feelings, trying to find a way out of the emptiness he could sense on his heart. As he quietly sat at the chair near the counter table, he could hear silent footsteps, imagining it would be Mark reaching out for milk, or maybe Yuta wanting a late snack - as always. 

‘Yukhei?’ but that was all of what he needed on that moment, to confront Jungwoo, the one he was avoiding, along with feelings he was on that very moment trying to avoid. 

He remained silent, looking at his cereal bowl, wishing it to be a dream or whatever it could be, some sort of imagination product. 

‘Yukhei, are you really going to keep on this? While I’m in front of you, seeing that you’re clearly ignoring me?’ unfortunately it wasn’t a dream or a mirage. Jungwoo was too real for him to cope on that moment, the sweetness of the cereal seeming too bitter on his tongue. 

‘I am not ignoring you.’ he chose to say, quietly, not facing the other boy, not turning his attention away from his mid-way filled bowl. 

‘Am I stupid now? What have you been doing for almost the whole month? I call you, you ignore my calls; I knock on your door, no answer; I say hi to silence; even right now! You’ve been avoiding me for this whole time, I am not dumb.’ 

He wasn't for sure. And Lucas was not really trying to make him feel like that in any way. He was not expecting, actually, for Jungwoo to confront him like that, as he was so focused on Doyoung, the world saviour. 

‘Was it all really just a prank? Were you kidding me with that friendship thing and now that you proved that you could be nice if you wanted, you’re pushing me away?’ Jungwoo asked, a mixture of hurt, and confusion as he was, also, trying to understand their current situation. 

‘No. Of course not. And I’m not trying to push you away, I just needed some time’ 

‘Some time? From me? Why-what happened for that?’ 

‘Nothing really. It’s not- I was just trying to think about some things, that’s all.’ 

‘Did I do something to upset you? If I did tell me then, don’t keep it to yourself, Yukhei.’ 

‘It’s- No. I-’ Lucas took a deep breath, gathering all of his strength and looking at Jungwoo for the first time on that conversation. He was feeling hurt, he could not deny, and he was trying to push it away only to be interrupted by the one who caused that on him. ‘I don’t know why you care, anyways.’ 

‘W-what? Why wouldn’t I care? I do care if you’re feeling bad, and even more if that’s something I did to you.’ 

‘Well, it doesn’t seem like you care. You’ve been putting be behind from everything since you got closer to the universe saviour Doyoung. We do nothing together anymore. Or if we would do, Doyoung would have to come along, obviously. So why do you care now? It’s been like that for several weeks. Several weeks and now you’ve remembered that Yukhei is also in the dorm? Well, thanks, you can keep on your stuff with Doyoung-hyung.’ 

 

He let it out, without even thinking twice, almost instantly regretting what he was just saying. He should’ve just made up some story about being sad over.. Practice issues. Jungwoo would certainly try to comfort him and that would be it. That fact would probably just piss him up even more since Jungwoo didn’t seem to care enough about him until that very moment, though. It would be better than to face Jungwoo’s shocked expression on that moment. 

 

The shock on the older boy’s face had turned into a laughing expression, as he tried really hard not to let it out on that very moment. Well, to make up a fake story seemed even more attractive then, as Lucas faced, utterly confused, as Jungwoo tried to take a breath and keep on the conversation that was long lost for the other boy. 

‘Yukhei.. Are you jealous?’ 

 

He was a 100% not jealous. It was not that what he was feeling on his heart. He just didn’t want to see Doyoung being better for Jungwoo than Lucas could ever try to be. It was just.. Facts statements. Not jealousy. Or at least it wasn’t something Lucas was willing to admit. Why would he be jealous of Jungwoo? They were barely friends for some months. The bright shade of red painted on his cheeks, however, were showing otherwise. 

 

‘O-Of course not. I just think that you seem better with Doyoung so.. Why would you be worrying about me?’ 

‘I can’t believe I made Wong Yukhei jealous. Me. That is a personal victory, really.’ 

‘But I am NOT jealous, are you not listening to what I’m saying right now?’ 

A cute laugh left Jungwoo’s mouth as he tried to deal with how adorable his younger friend were on that moment. Blushing, and being deeply hurt for thinking he was being traded for someone else. 

‘Yukhei, I’m sorry if I made you feel left behind. That was not my intention. It’s just that I’ve learned and improved so much along with Doyoung that I didn’t notice that this was bothering you.’ He offered a small side smile to Lucas, that just listened wide-eyed. ‘I worry about you, really. And I care about you.’ 

‘I- You care about me?’ 

‘Yes. You’re a friend dear to me, actually. And I don’t want to hurt you, so, if something else bothers you, please, let me know.’ 

A shy nod. There was no use on trying to reaffirm the fact that he was not jealous anymore. He just listened to the tender words that seemed to heal his heart like a magic potion. 

‘How about we get some ice-cream tomorrow to catch up?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!   
> Back with updates! Sorry it took so long..   
> So, what did you think of this chapter? Did you like it? Tell me! :)   
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> 
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